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Mother’s Day 2014 – Almost the end of the day &…….

Mother’s Day 2014 – Almost the end of the day &…….

Thinking all day of what to say about this day was not difficult. I wrote on my Facebook and twitter accounts wishing Mothers’ a Blessed day.

It is hard to think about Mother’s day when 6 years have gone by after the  death of my mother. She always told us children to do for her when she was alive and not when she was dead. Following that rule, there was nothing to do or say. I had said my thank you, my I love you and of course our good old fights. Two strong headed women who loved control. She  also said what she needed to say to me before she died. A strong mind in spite of her stroke she made sure I knew that she loved me but not in a messy way. Firm and fast.

In a way today was kind of empty – she was not there to buy the roses I always gave her – and I thought of the children who have difficult relationships with their mothers. Like Christmas and other ‘family’ holidays these days leave a little pit or hole in one’s heart. That empty feeling or the odd person out while everyone is dancing to the music that the whole world knows. With social media our world is a lot closer yet strangely not more loving. It is the love of parents, biological or not, that makes the difference for a child. Growing up in this knowledge makes days like this have meaning. When there is a void of this meaning such days take on a different picture. One where most people take the inside space, while the others stand on the outside looking in. And the wars, the bombs that leave families broken. What do we say to those children? Countries play war games but people die. The empty seat on a day like today is not taken into account when mad men go to war in the name of democracy or any strange feel good sound bite.

Well Mother, the day is over. Thank you for teaching me to do for the living. That paid off well as really there is nothing to say or do for you. And you would know, I speak of you often just like you did when Dad died. You taught us well: to live in the present, give to others and to treat everyone equally.

Thank you to all mothers who took time with your children teaching them some life lessons

Merle Jacobs

From Rangoon to London then to Canada, now home. Professor at York U in Toronto. Equity Studies.

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